I am an end-of-life doula, offering compassionate and practical end-of-life care services usually face-to-face locally, but could be remotely online, or by phone or email, and I can also travel. I’m an end-of-life doula as distinct from a death doula, not just because it sounds softer and gentler, although it does, but mainly because death only happens on one day, and end-of-life care happens for weeks or months beforehand, and afterwards with whānau. It’s a largely secular, down-to-earth, practically and psychologically supportive service, probably unsuitable for people with strong religious needs. Practical guidance, emotional support, companionship, advocacy, coaching, information, encouragement, and help in prioritising how you choose to spend the time you have left, are all available, in your own time frame, to help you navigate your journey with a sense of completion and dignity.
An end-of-life doula, death midwife, or death doula, specialises in supporting someone who is dying and their whānau. I can guide you through the process of ‘getting your affairs in order’, including your Advance Care Plan, your will, your Enduring Power of Attorney, and the broader legacy of your life. I can facilitate courageous conversations with loved ones who may be denying the reality of a terminal illness, and also support family members who are struggling with grief, both before and after the death. I can walk you to the edge of life, with care.
I don’t offer medical treatments, although I am also a qualified medical herbalist and naturopath, but I can offer support to people making decisions about medical interventions. I can’t prescribe drugs but I can remind you to take your pills. I can provide information about funeral and other options as well as make cups of tea, offer tissues, and hold hands. I can provide comfort, compassion, and a neutral listening ear that’s not close family, which can be very valuable as some people find it too difficult to discuss some subjects with their nearest and dearest. I can facilitate goodbyes. I can provide a safe, confidential container for you to talk about your fears and anxieties, your joys and achievements, your regrets and your dreams, and anything else that you need to share, while you can.
Traditionally a doula was a servant or slave woman in Ancient Greece, who supported another woman during childbirth. The word ‘doula’ comes from the Greek word ‘doulē’, which means ‘female servant’, and more recently became ‘the one who mothers the mother’. These women provided emotional support, guidance, and comfort to the woman in pregnancy, labour, and postpartum, increasing the likelihood of a positive childbirth experience. Now it’s become a similar role at the other end of life, offering support, guidance, and comfort to the dying and their whānau, before, during and after death.
Please email me if you’re interested in this service. Lynda@livinglegacies.nz